I was brushing my teeth that February morning as I wandered over to the full length mirror in our bedroom. I inhaled a big minty breath of toothpaste air and sighed it out. At 20 months postpartum, I had gotten so used to a body that didn’t feel like me I almost didn’t see it anymore. It wasn’t so much how I looked, it was another kind of disconnect. I wanted to FEEL something.
The memes that buzz around on social media kept floating through my head, “Love your body- no matter what size,” “You grew a human, be easy on yourself,” “Your worth isn’t measured by your size.” While all of those are true, I just wasn’t happy in my skin. I didn’t feel good even putting on SWEATPANTS, let alone jeans.
The toothbrush buzzed to a stop and I returned to the bathroom to spit out the foam. I caught my reflection again in the mirror. “Fuck it,” I told myself, “I am DONE feeling like this.” I wanted more. Yes I loved my body. Yes I appreciated the miracles it brought into the world. But I had been hiding behind the comfortable bubble of motherhood like a shield too long. I was ready for a challenge. Wishing alone doesn’t get you very far. I had to actually make a move and a commitment. All those excuses I would tell myself, “I don’t have the time,” “This is just what happens when you become a mom,” I had to look those excuses dead on and say, “No. No more.”
I had seen an advertisement for an 80 day program pop up on my Instagram feed. After trying online workouts before, I was skeptical. I felt like I had tried them all, and nothing stuck. “What have I got to lose? If I can stick with this for 80 days, then at least I will be stronger than before,” I thought. I signed up that very day.
I was shocked by how fast the days flew by. This program was different. The cast of the program was actually doing the workouts with me. I felt inspired and ‘cheered on’ the entire time, even though I was doing the program alone in my living room.
Day 80 came and I felt emotional. I had lost inches around my hips and waist as well as some weight, but the biggest change was a switch that flipped. I actually looked forward to working out! It had become a habit. During the last move on the 80th day, I dropped my weight and let the tears stream down my face. I collapsed on my knees and just cried. It was a moment of FREEDOM. I broke through a barrier that day. It was a scary, yet exciting moment. If I could do this….. what more am I capable of?
Shortly after completing this program, I signed up to become a coach. I created a private group of women where we inspire each other. I just received a call from one of the women in my group yesterday, saying that she was able to finally fit into her wedding dress. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
Feeling secure and safe is one thing, but feeling happy with the quality of your life should be above all. If you have ever wanted more, I would love to cheer you on as your coach. You can do hard things and live your happiest healthiest life!
Reach out to me at askwellbalancedmama@gmail.com for more info on my upcoming groups challenges. My next round begins JUNE 1st! I would love to have you in it 🙂
